Tag Archives for " positive thinking "

Stress Is A Practice You’ve Gotten Real Good At..

“You are what you practice most.” 
Richard Carlson

If you regularly feel stressed, it’s because you have practiced regular thinking in regards to life.  What you think about and focus on expands in that direction.

So if you are looking for how bad life is and how you’re always missing out on this, that and the other, your brain will naturally look for more evidence of how bad life is and what you’re missing out on.

If you practice thinking this way repetitively, it becomes a habit – like driving a car.

However if you practice looking for evidence that life isn’t ALWAYS bad, that perhaps you’re just experiencing something unwanted RIGHT NOW, and you practice looking for what you did get and how you learnt from the unwanted, you will automatically start to feel a lot less stress.

Stress-free through healthy thinkin’.

Jackie

"It takes a village to raise a child"

The PSC's 'Bring My Family Calm' Membership invites you to that village

Never feel alone or stressed in your parenting again

Want To Slap People Who Say Happiness Is A Choice?

Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. There’s going to be stress in life, but it’s your choice whether you let it affect you or not.
Valerie Bertinelli

When you’re having a crappy day and someone says to you (or posts it on Facebook) that happiness is a choice, don’t you just want to slap them (or unfriend them).

Here’s the truth about happiness:

Happiness is an emotion we feel when life’s going to plan.
The reality is life doesn’t always go to plan, so we’re not always going to feel happy!

But what we can feel is at peace with whatever is happening in our lives. Let’s face it, you won’t always like your reality, but you can learn how to accept it and deal with it.

And that’s what is really needed when you’re having those days that makes you want to run away or hide in a corner, not trying to create a facade that this unwanted event makes us happy.

But sometimes we just don’t know how to see life differently and we just need to learn.

So seek out the information that will teach you how to see the bigger picture and not get consumed by the ins and outs of parenting and life in general. Learn how to find peace in this moment…because what we’re really looking for is peace of mind. We all know that happiness won’t always be possible.

Ommmmm…….

Jackie

"It takes a village to raise a child"

The PSC's 'Bring My Family Calm' Membership invites you to that village

Never feel alone or stressed in your parenting again

Transform How You Feel With ONE Exercise

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Melody Beattie

I know, we hear it all the time. Be grateful. But how much effort have your really given it?

I once did a two week gratitude program where I had to write 15 things a day that I was grateful for.  I was in a state of depression at the time and couldn’t believe the turnaround in how I felt in such a short time.

It was incredible!

Because my mind kept focusing on what I was getting or what I did have, I kept finding more and more things to write down.

Where your attention goes, your energy flows.

Whatever you put your attention on expands in that direction.

Why not try it for yourself? You will be amazed at the transformation it will have on how you FEEL towards your life and how patient you become about parenting.

Peace is closer than you think.

Jackie

"It takes a village to raise a child"

The PSC's 'Bring My Family Calm' Membership invites you to that village

Never feel alone or stressed in your parenting again

Is it just all too hard today?

Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy.
Saadi

You wouldn’t just walk into a court room and start being a lawyer would you? So what makes you think you’re going to just have a baby and know how to parent?

The reality is that parenting comes with practice. You’ve never been a parent before? Or if you have, you’ve never been one to this child.

Cut yourself some slack. You won’t know everything all the time (sometimes none of the time). It’s all about practice and trial and error.

C’mon. You can do this. If you don’t know how, just ask or research. Not knowing doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It just means you don’t know yet.

Hoping you find your way…

Jackie

"It takes a village to raise a child"

The PSC's 'Bring My Family Calm' Membership invites you to that village

Never feel alone or stressed in your parenting again

Change your thinking. It only takes a moment

When you exercise there are many times when you need to push yourself to actually do it, or to break your personal best and get fitter, faster or stronger.

You are sitting around on the couch watching that TV show, or laying in bed thinking of all the reasons why you should just stay there, or you are right in the middle of your workout, just about to give up, when your inner personal trainer pipes up and screams, “YOU CAN DO THIS! JUST 5 MORE MINUTES AND YOUR DONE”

All of a sudden you dig deep. You get up and and you JFDI (“Just freaking do it”)!

Well the same applies with your emotions.

The reason why we feel the way we do is a direct result of how we think. We think the way we do, only because of our habits. Those habits of thinking have been created through repetition and consistency over time, just like your bad eating habits, or your fitness levels (or perhaps lack thereof).

The only way to change something, is to change it.

But you’ve got to dig deep. You’ve got to stay consistent and repetitive with perceiving life in a positive manner.

Just like exercising, you’ve got to overcome those excuses and seemingly perfect justifications for why life isn’t going right for you and you’ve got to keep charging towards your goals and finding solutions to how to get them.

It doesn’t matter what age the kids are at, what support you have (or don’t have), how much money you have or what your circumstances are. There is ALWAYS a way to pursue what you want in this life and our mindset is the first place to start when trying to achieve these things.

All you need to do is push yourself to find a different perspective.
* Find the value in the unwanted event instead of what you’re missing out on.
* See how this event is linked to a bigger picture.
* See this how this event is a necessary part of yours or your child’s development.
* USE this unwanted event as a platform to educate yourself on how to shape or change your life
* Learn something from it that takes you closer to your goal.

Whenever your mind pipes up with excuses, you’ve got to stay vigilent about recognising your negative self-talk and bring out your inner mindset PT and JFDI – get up, do something that gets you closer to your goals and put those excuses to rest because…

YOU CAN DO THIS! JUST 5 LITTLE SECONDS AND IT’S DONE!

That’s all it takes (if that) to change your mindset in each moment and if you do that over and over again, over many different moments, all of a sudden you realise that you are doing it….by habit!

You’ve just got to keep pushing yourself to do it and your ‘training’ will produce positive results. Over time, you will realise that you are mentally fitter than you’ve ever been and a lot happier too.

Need help to change that mindset? Check out our Resources page for loads of different products that can teach you not to get sucked into that negative headspace that makes you stressed or anxious.

Why did I choose to be a mother again?

Happy Mum 35Hi, Jackie Hall here. In the last couple of weeks, we have put Foxtel in our home.  With that I have re-discovered The Supernanny series and a show called Real Simple. Real Life where they help women get their lives in order (it’s mostly targeted at mums).

Watching these programs of late, it has fascinated me as to why we choose to become mothers.  I mean granted we have no idea what we are in for in the beginning, but we go back and have more babies, and more often than not, despite the hardships it brings, most of us would do it all over again if given the chance to turn back time.

But when you look at it, why on earth would we want to do it all over again, given the chance?  From the outside looking in, we start off getting very little sleep, are overwhelmed with repetitive, groundhog day tasks of nappies, crying, housework, little adult contact, loss of career and independence, loss of spontaneity and the freedom to be self-indulgent.  We lose our body shape, hand our breasts over to another person only to have them return empty, shapeless, droopy and scarred.  We are clung to, suffer from sore backs, bad posture, lose our style, dress daggy, have very little time to groom and generally look and feel drabby….and that’s just the first 6 months or so.

As our children grow older we are likely to be screamed at, kicked, bitten, had our hair pulled, embarrassed in the shops, and issued demand after demand.  The house gets messier, the list of chores gets bigger, you then try to add work into the equation and balance all that just to make ends meet and life becomes a constant struggle to keep everybody else happy and slipping in little moments of bliss for yourself whenever you can.

When you look at all of this chaos that occurs in a mother’s life, from an outsiders point of view, who the hell would EVER opt for a life like this?  Why on earth do we go back and do it again, and again?

What on earth do we see in this motherhood gig that is so powerful that we would do it again, go back and have history repeat itself. What makes us believe that it is the best job in the world? I decided to pose this question to Real Mumma.

This was her reply:

Real Mumma: The answer is simple – love.

Because when you look into your child’s eyes – I mean really look at them.  You see underneath the behaviour and look to the pure, unconditionally loving little being that they are, and all of that stuff melts away.  You see the innocent looks, their priceless smiles and their inappropriate laughs at situations that you think are serious.  You watch them as they sleep and see their innocence and beauty and feel the sudden urge to scoop them up in your arms and cuddle them (even though it just took you ages to get them to sleep) just because you realise how much you love them and how much they mean to you.

You then watch them grow, learn and take on some of the lessons you taught them. You begin to see the pride they have in their own growing abilities and how proud they are of something they’ve worked hard for.

You see the pure love and sensitivity they have for other people and how, while one minute they can be angry, feral and disruptive, the next they could be giving you the biggest cuddle in the world, giving you a carefully picked yellow weed flower and saying those magic words ‘Here you go mummy, I love you.’

You notice their funny little facial expressions, the words they get mixed up that sound so cute, and hear their priceless little giggles ringing in your ears.

Suddenly your heart just bursts with love and no matter what has happened, for this brief moment, you are the proudest, happiest and most in love mother you could ever have hoped to have been.

Love is the most powerfully healing emotion known to man.  For a person to go through all that we do as mothers, but have that all melted away within an instant because of this emotion of love, just goes to show how much of it we need in our lives.

Yes, this motherhood gig is tough.  Yes it comes with the biggest workload you’ve ever had in your entire life, but why did I choose to be a mother?

Because it is the best job in the world, and that’s not because it’s full of only warm and fuzzy huggies commercial type moments, but because I experience a love that is so rare, so pure and so rewarding that I would never EVER give that up.

Next time you feel overwhelmed by motherhood, just remember this awesome feeling and do whatever you can to bring it back into your life so that all that bad stuff can just melt away in that instant again.

All that surface stuff and surface behaviour we experience that causes us to be consumed, stressed and dragged down?  It doesn’t matter.  It’s not what counts.  Look for what’s underneath.  Look for the human behind the behaviour.  The meaning in the mayhem.

Love is what matters.  Love is what heals and the love between a child and a mother, is irreplaceable. Invite this feeling of love back into your life as much as possible and the chaos will become unimportant.

 

"It takes a village to raise a child"

The PSC's 'Bring My Family Calm' Membership invites you to that village

Never feel alone or stressed in your parenting again

Depression, sadness and anger can be a blessing

On Saturday my eldest son will turn six.  It seems like just yesterday he was born. the years have gone so fast. Yet in my memory I still vividly remember how I felt those sad, angry days in his early years when I thought I was the worst mum in the world and that I was always ‘stuffing him or his brother up’ in one way or another.

I felt like those long days with the kids changing nappies, cleaning the house and being bored out of my brain would never end.  I thought that my life had no purpose, no meaning and no direction, and that I was just existing from day to day in order to do everything for everyone else.

Although this is where I was at then, it is not how my life continued.  In fact being in that sad and angry place was the best thing that ever happened to me, because it took me to the place I am now and to what I am now doing with my life.

Without those moments, I would never have written books and programs to help other parents to stop their parental stress.  Without those moments I would never have learnt the information that teaches me to be a happy mum and teaches my kids the realistic version of how to be happy.  Without these moments, I would not meet and speak with many other inspirational parents like I do.

You see every moment in life leads to the next one.  Sometimes it may feel like your challenges are never going to end, but believe me they do.  Everything rises and passes away!  Whatever is going on in your life is a stepping stone.  Whether you are doing well in life right now or going through the hardest thing you have ever had to face, it is always temporary and eventually moves on to something else.

We don’t have to know how life will unfold, nor do we need to get it to unfold to our desires all the time.  We can’t possibly know what is going to happen next in our lives and will never know what good is going to follow our current bad.

There were times when I wanted to run away from how hard I found being a new mother with two young boys, but imagine if I did what I would be missing out on right now.

I am an author, a public speaker and a happy mum of two healthy and happy boys whom I can now help to learn to look at life in a healthy way and to be there to lift them when they feel in a similar way to how I had felt.  Because I’ve been there, I can teach them with conviction how to move themselves through those times quicker.

That time of my life where I was sad and angry all the time, propelled me to another level of my life that has now marked the beginning of something truly inspirational.  Your life can be this way too.

Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of believing that whatever is happening for you define’s your entire existence.  Never give up on believing you are important to this world.  If you don’t know why you are important to the world, then that doesn’t mean you aren’t. You just need to learn how to search for that evidence.

We each play a special role in life that is always giving something to someone we are in contact with.  We do this through existing.  You speak to others, participate in group activities, love others, live with others and leave with them a part of who you are JUST BY BEING ALIVE.  They learn from you and you form a part of how their life unfolds.

You are important now!  And always will be.

If you’re feeling low about your life right now and that ‘this is it’ for you.  Stop and imagine what uncrossed roads may be ahead of you.  You don’t know what amazing adventures are in store for you and you don’t know that what you are going through right now may end up being the very thing you need to occur in order for you to live a more amazing life than you have ever dreamed of living!!

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity”
Albert Einstein

THE MISSION – Stop Mummy management overload & Just BE

Okay, so totally inspired after watching (for the gazillionth time) my favourite self help movie by Wayne Dyer – The Shift – Standard Version DVD“>Ambition to Meaning, I was feeling very enlightened and spiritually moved.  To paint the picture, all was quiet, the kids were in bed, the hubby was on the computer and it was just me in a dark room with the TV, no interruptions and this thought-provoking movie, so it was easy to slip into an awesomely inspired state.

As always these kinds of movies make me contemplate my life (as they are supposed to) and hence, the following facebook comment was posted:

“Mums are always doing, planning, controlling, managing. When are we ever just Be-ing. It’s not because we HAVE to live like this, it is because we THINK we have to live like this. What would happen if we just started to allow things to unfold, observe our life, not react, and accept our lives as they unfold without interference? This is going to be my mission tomorrow. I’ll let you know how I go.”

By saying this I didn’t mean to imply that we should stop being responsible and start neglecting our children, but instead, begin to become aware of just how much we were trying to control the outcome of our lives (and our child’s) and just how much of this causes motherhood stress.  I was interested to know that if I set myself the mission of just allowing my life to unfold without unnecessary interference, and with observation and awareness, just how this would make me feel.

Here’s how it all went down:

Within minutes of making the pledge to just ‘be’ a mum and reduce the unnecessary planning, controlling and ‘managing’ in my life,  I found myself in the shower concocting my plan for how the next day was going to unfold. 

It was going to be raining, so I needed to get the kids ups and ready.
I would allow them to play their DS for an hour while I cleaned up.
Then I would take them to the shop and buy some ingredients for we were going to do some cooking to occupy their time.  (If the truth be told, the agenda was not to have fun with my kids, but to ‘occupy their time’.)
Then that would take us to lunch, where after that, I would clean up and they would play.  I would get them a video and play a game with them.  By then it would be dinner time where we would be getting ready for bed and that would be the end of  my day.

Suddenly my whole next day was mapped out and I had become a walking to do list.  All this within minutes of my pledge!!  Wasn’t I supposed to be going with the flow?  Obviously this was going to be harder than I thought.

Okay, so the next day, I started off really well.  I went with the flow, stopping myself from reacting to the millions of kisses that my five year old gives me up and down my arm as an excuse to smell my skin (yes people this is sweet, but incredibly annoying). Instead I decided to appreciate his affection albeit for a hidden agenda, and gently stop him and give him a big hug instead, which he also loves.

I became aware of how much my kids annoy me when I’m on the computer so that they can have my attention and I started to really look at them when they were speaking.  I mean really see them and I felt filled with love for who they were and for them being my kids.  (I literally felt that warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you are looking at a sleeping newborn baby).

So as the morning progressed and I had the kids ready to go to the shops, we were walking out the door when my four year old spotted a snail on the front patio.  He points it out to me and says, ‘Can I touch it?’  Without even thinking, my answer was No.  I hadn’t event considered the question before the response came charging out of my mouth.

‘Why?’ He said.  I thought, ‘Gee I don’t know why Ryan.  Why can’t he touch the snail Jackie [that’s me]? Hmm I don’t really know’, I answered myself, ‘Perhaps because maybe it’s been 5 minutes since you barked an order at him and you felt bored, lol?  I don’t really know why he can’t touch the bloody snail.

So I let him touch the bloody snail.  What is the harm in it? Why did I say no so instantaneously without even thinking?  This is obviously something that I do quite often.

Throughout the weekend I found that time after time I would interfere with arguments that the kids were quite capable of solving themselves.  I made detailed plans for how they would spend their day or how I would fit in this bit of housework or that bit of housework while they were doing something, so that I wasn’t interrupted.  I regularly stopped myself from finishing their sentences to hurry them up and continually had to bring my awareness back to the present moment and engage in what was happening now, reeling my attention back from being consumed with my intricate plans for my future.

Purely by holding the intention of becoming aware, not attaching to outcome and allowing as much of my life to unfold naturally as possible, I learnt just how much of my life (and my experience as a mum) was spent not appreciating the time with my kids and getting caught up with what I had to do next.  Furthermore, I also realised just how much expectation I give to life unfolding the way I want it to and can easily see why I have to stop my thoughts from barreling down the path towards anger.

Now all I needed to do, in order to stop the battle of anger of stress, was to scale back, chill out, stop the unnecessary planning that I keep doing and stay aware of what is going on right now.  Otherwise, I’m going to end up missing out on enjoying a lot of my life!

It was a pretty insightful exercise to do and one that will change how I go about my day to day activities….

I would be interested to hear from anyone who has tried something similar or who is willing to trial this on themselves.

"It takes a village to raise a child"

The PSC's 'Bring My Family Calm' Membership invites you to that village

Never feel alone or stressed in your parenting again