A member of the our Postpartum depression recovery program (now Find My Calm), emailed me to say thank you for some words that I had written as part of the program.
Although I know everything that I teach, I sometimes don't remember how I have worded things, and sometimes (and I hope I don't tread on any non-spiritualists toes here), I don't actually think I am alone in what I write.
When I get 'in the zone' something else often feels like it takes over and almost writes through me, if that makes sense.
Anyway, when she posted the quote that I had written, I thought that is was so relevant to share with you today, so here it is:
"I think we can all agree that when a baby comes into the world they are 100% worthy, beautiful, pure and precious. That was you once. What happened? What do you think occurred in your life that was so bad that you changed from that beautiful, precious human being that could do no wrong to being this bad person that you make yourself out to be?
The answer is only beliefs. Your worth did not change, but your beliefs about yourself did. These beliefs are probably not even yours. There is nothing wrong with you at all. The only thing that is wrong is your perception of your self-worth and you can always work on changing that.
You are still that worthy, precious and beautiful person that you were when you were born. Now we just need to unravel all those memes [handed down, indoctrinated beliefs] that taught you to believe that you aren’t worthy. It’s time to let go of these self-defeating memes. They are simply not true and this is exactly what you are leading into learning in the coming weeks."
I cannot stress to you how true these words are and sometimes I just want to scream them out to the world, especially when I hear of all the medical things that are being done to postnatal depression sufferers, like ECT's (electronic convulsive therapy).
I mean, I'm sure that it has its place and I don't mean to put down anything medical or any medication for that matter, I just wish that the issue of self-worth was being addressed more aggressively.
Chemical imbalances and 'bad' events are repeatedly blamed for postnatal depression, but why aren't belief systems being just as equally addressed? Why isn't there massive emphasis on teaching communities about self-worth and understanding the realities of life's ups and downs, and learning how to accept the times when life isn't going to plan, so you don't feel like a failure everytime this happens.
All of your thinking and perceptions about life are what is causing postnatal depression and I have seen it time and time again where people have learnt to change this perception and their postnatal depression disappeared.
Your brain is SO powerful. There's a reason you got postnatal depression and it's not because of a chemical imbalance in the brain. Yes, the imbalance was there, but what caused it? The way you perceived life to begin with.
So it was the 'bad' event then? No, it was the way you perceived this event. Even labelling it as a 'bad' event contributed to your depression over it (or a series of events). Change the way you perceive it and you change the way you receive it with your emotions.
Self-worth lies at the core of all depression (and all other stress-related illnesses too). You have perceived that this event (or series of events) deems you a failure. If you are depressed in the area of motherhood, then you are perceiving that you have failed in this area of your life and it is this perception that is causing the physical chemical reaction causing it to become out of balance, just like there is a chemical reaction if you were fearful over a spider crawling down the wall beside you. The chemical would be adrenaline though.
You have so much power over your depression and it makes me crazy that I can't reach the world as quickly as I want to and give them this message.
You are perfect just the way you are and you are the one who needs to learn this. You can take medication and be under the guide of a doctor for as long as you want, but until you believe that you are 100% worthy no matter how your life unfolds (that's right, whether it's going to plan or not), you will continue to live with a cloud over your head. It may not be a deep dark completely depressive crowd, but there will always be that lingering worry that life might go 'wrong' and send you back to that dark place again.
Understand self-worth and how to perceive life's ups and downs and you won't have to live in fear over you getting depression again.
My Find My Calm program will help you with this. I can only hope that you can see this too, or find someone else who can teach you to know your true self-worth and change those beliefs in your head that make you believe that you are failure whenever things go 'wrong.'