Tag Archives for " work stress "

Quite often I read the posts of people introducing themselves on my Live programs, and I think “Wow, you’ve got so much going on.  Where should we start first.”

So this post is to help those of you who are feeling this way about your life and parenthood.

What do you want?

A seemingly simple question, yet one that is not often answered with specifics, or if it is, it is answered as more than a wish then a serious goal or expectation.

But this by far is the most important question to ask yourself when you feel like you’re drowning, because we often get sucked into the vortex of seeing everything we don’t have.

I can tell you that there are no solutions down that road.

What is it that you want in your parenting experience?
What is it that you want in your relationships?
What sort of relationship do you want with your kids, your family, etc.?
What does the ideal work/life balance look like?
What sort of person do you want to be?

Sit down with yourself and look at every area of your life and think about what the ideal would look like. What sort of life do you want to create for yourself? What would make you happy?

When you’ve done that, ask yourself whether you have been specific about these wants. When you look at those wants, would you be able to tell that you had achieved them?  Or can you be even more specific?

Knowing what you want is the first step to changing your life, because it gives you a direction to go in.  From this point, you can then begin to focus on how to get this information, where you can find the information that will help you to get there and who can teach it to you.

Struggles in life don’t mean a failed life. They just mean you lost your direction, or you haven’t yet learnt the skills required to get you there. Don’t waste time thinking about that though, just focus on what you want and how to learn so you can get there!

Free yourself and redesign your life.

Jackie

“Nobody knows…..nobody knows but me that I sometimes cry. If I could pretend that I’m asleep when my tears start to fall. I peek out from behind these walls…I think nobody knows…..nobody knows, no….”
Pink

Every day, I put on the facade. My friends didn’t know. My husband sometimes knew. And to everyone else, I was easy-going, happy, friendly and coping well with my two toddlers only 16 months apart. To everyone else, I loved being a mum and had it all under control.

But inside was a war zone – with myself.

It was an endless cycle of loving motherhood, hating motherhood, being tired, pissed off, flipping out in anger, feeling guilty and hating myself. I threw things, screamed, swore, then would see the scared looks on my toddlers’ faces and then fall to my knees in a heap, devastated at the mother I had become.

I felt like I was everything I swore I would never be as a parent and felt I was failing miserably.

But there was no way anyone was ever going to know that. I was the achiever. I got things right! I was SUPPOSED to be a good mother. How could I tell anyone that I had failed? How could I even admit that to myself?

So I sat there and suffered day in and day out until finally, after getting so angry, I slammed a knife on the bench so hard in anger, that it bounced off and narrowly missed my (then) two-year old’s head, I finally realised enough was enough. I had to change, so I dedicated my life to doing exactly that!

After retraining myself to completely change the way I felt about parenthood, I began to educate other parents that YOU ARE NOT ALONE and you don’t have to go through this feeling alone.

You can turn all this around and I want to help you to do so. I don’t want anyone to feel the way that I did.

I want you to know that there are so many parents feeling the same way that you do, the way that I did, and I don’t want you to ever feel ashamed for what’s happening for you right now.

You are not a bad parent. You are a parent who just needs a shift in their mindset, an education in self-worth. A parent who is just receiving a wake-up call for their personal development.

On the other side of this you are a confident, happier, calmer and reality-focused parent who is able to share your new found wisdom with your children and help them avoid depression and anxiety in their futures.

This is, undoubtedly, the hidden good in all this. So when will it be time to learn how to change? Today. Don’t leave it any longer. You can do this.

Showing you the way…

Jackie

To find out how we can help you, head over to our Bring My Family Calm Program that will help you to turn it all around.

I hear of and see so many parents who lose themselves in their new lives, struggling to balance being a parent, working, being a homemaker and trying to juggle all of the demands of their lives.

There is so much to be grateful for, but all we seem to have our attention on is the mountain of chores, the problems we face and the things that we need to control and ‘manage’ life.

But where did all the fun go?

If we continue to go on like this, it only leads to one thing – breaking point!

We have to stop this cycle of getting consumed by all of the demands that are in our lives. The reality is the housework is always going to be there. We will always come across a truck load of tasks that need to be completed and times where it often feels like it all needs priority.

Parents often feel they are under huge pressure to ‘keep it all together’, but most of this pressure comes from ourselves.  Somehow we have taken on this belief that we need to be able to control everything that occurs in our lives and be the one that has all the answers, is organised and is responsible for the running of everyone, but while doing this we are losing a part of ourselves.  Everyone else is taken care of but you get lost, you forget about yourself and you forget that you are a person too.

Parents, it’s time to let it go.  Pull back. Take stock of your life and all the wonderful things you have in it. It’s time to start LIVING your life, instead of just existing and going from task to task.  Just because you became a parent and your workload has increased, it doesn’t mean you should stop enjoying your life. It just means you now have to just manage it differently than before.

The reality is all those things we need to do, will always be there. If you get them done, they will quickly be replaced by more tasks that need tending to.

You need to deliberately take some time to have fun. Having time to do anything is never about having enough time, it’s about making it a priority.  Make YOU a priority today, because your quality of life depends on it.

Make some time to do something that you LOVE to do.  Whether it’s with the kids, or whether you have to find someone to look after the kids while you do it.  It is IMPERATIVE you start to enjoy your life or you’re going to end up losing yourself and in 40 years time, you may look back at your life and be full of regret that you got so tied up with the small stuff and getting everything ‘right’ that you forgot to actually live and enjoy those little things.

I am seeing too many stories – too many, where parents have lost a part of themselves along the way.  They lose their self-esteem, their sense of style, their individuality, all because they are trying to ‘do it all and have it all’, but in the process of ‘having it all’, they are also losing it all, losing everything that they really do hold important in life, because they aren’t taking the time to enjoy what they do have in the name of getting everything perfect.

It’s time to shake it up.  Change your life.  Make it your intention today, to plan something FUN in your life.  What is it you would like to do that would make you feel amazing?  Do you need a new outfit, a new hairstyle?  Could you go skydiving, go dancing or take pole dancing lessons?   What is something that will bring you alive, make you feel like yourself again and remind you that you are a person with hopes, dreams and aspirations.

Parenthood is one of the most rewarding jobs you can have, but it’s not all of who you are.  I am writing this to wake you up, shake you up and make you realise that you need to have some fun.  Put the dishes, the work, the parenthood role aside for a moment and bring some joy into your life.  Do something that invigorates you, stretches you and boosts your self-esteem.  Nurture yourself and give yourself the attention you deserve.

My fear, is that if you don’t do this and do it on a regular basis, then you will reach that breaking point and feel like your life is purposeless.  Only you can change this.  Only you can add purpose back into your life.  No fairy godmother is going to wave her magic wand and make your life enjoyable and fun.  Only you have that power.  What do you want for your life?  What would you like to experience in your life?

Life was never supposed to be all about dull, boring, monotonous tasks.  It’s about fun, adventure and experience.  Step outside of your rut over the next week and do something unique just for you – something that will give you a boost and a lift up to feeling inspired, encouraged and excited about life.

C’mon, you deserve a break!