There was a time when I felt like the worst mother in the world. I wondered what sort of life I could give my children when I was the biggest influence in their lives at such an important time?
I thought that I was a complete failure, not just at this motherhood gig, but at life in general. Thinking this about myself made me feel miserable.
While I look back at this time of my life, I still feel saddened by it, but I am also overwhelmed with gratitude for having gone through this time of my life, for I would not know half of what I do without this experience.
It took me to get to the bottom of my pit of despair to actively search for the information I needed to change my situation and learn what I needed to so that I never felt like this again?
Did it work? Absolutely! Do I ever feel sad, down, lonely, stressed or irritated these days? For sure I do!. But I learnt that this didn’t make me a failure. It was simply because I was a human being and this is how I function. I observe life, rate it according to my beliefs and I have a physical reaction in my body due to how I’m rating it.
That is simply how my brain functions and I cannot control which habitual beliefs my brain chooses in each particular moment, because there are so many neural pathways in my brain.
What I could do though, is to stay aware of that habitual thinking, because in the past so much of this thinking had been like a repetitive tape going on in my head that I had forgotten to take any notice of. This tape was causing most of my misery.
Learning how to change my thinking everytime I became aware of my rogue thoughts, was the most powerful part for me in conquering my depression and anxiety.
Understanding true self-worth and knowing my inherent value, despite my experiences made so much sense to me. Of course we are always contributing to each other! Of course everything I do becomes an important link in the chain of another person’s life! Of course my learning, growth and contribution to the world is what defines my existence! How could I not have seen that before?!
From here, with this understanding, going even further by establishing what I want, instead of engaging in this tedious conversation in my head about what I’m not getting, and sending my attention in a solution focussed direction, became the icing on the cake.
When I am focussed on what I want and have information and a plan of how to get it, my whole psyche changes, my whole perspective on life changes. The way I feel, the way I interact with my children, my husband and others, all revolve around how I feel.
Deliberately sending my mind up the ladder of The Mind TRACK to Happiness process over and over again started creating new habitual thinking, so that now it is almost second nature to keep focussing on reality and aims, reality and aims, reality and aims, then reminding myself of my steps to achievement.
Sure, things happen in my life where I get discouraged and I feel like it’s all going ‘wrong’. I’m not sure this thinking ever goes away, at least it hasn’t for me yet. But it’s different now. Now, even though I’m feeling this way, there is always that other part of my head that is upgrading and changing the perspective.
It’s like there are two tapes running in my head now. One that sometimes plays the songs of ‘poor me’ and ‘look at how bad my life is’ and the other that is constantly playing the debut album – ‘songs of reality thinking.’
Sometimes the ‘woe is me’ album is playing louder than the ‘reality thinking’ album, but I find at some level that reality thinking is always there now, it’s just a matter of how long it takes me to realise it’s there.
This will happen to you too over time. With practice, consistency and with repetition you will come to habitually run these tapes too.
We are not here to fix your life, because it’s not broken, although I’m sure that’s initially what you started out to do. However we are here to fix your thinking, to help you to align your thinking with reality and give you the ability to embrace change, challenges and life’s unexpected outcomes, to acknowledge the presence of your adversities when they do arise and to teach you how to look at these times with an accurate and healthy perspective so that they don’t drag you down and sink you into complete meltdown despair and depression.
From this day onwards you no longer need to stay in the cage that your mind has kept you in. YOU have the tools you need to change your life.
Free yourself from motherhood stress and any other stress in your life with the knowlege of 100% worth and value in everything.
Remember, keep going! Keep detaching your self-worth from whatever is playing out in your life, including your behaviour.
You are learning to behave and think differently and in alignment with some clear intentions (aims) for being a parent, your life, your self-worth and your overall happiness. This won’t just happen overnight.
Every time you catch yourself thinking in a way that is in conflict with reality and you acknowledge that you are in conflict with reality, you are one step closer to changing your thinking because you are aware of it (the first step to happiness – awareness).
Every time you recognise in hindsight that something you did in the past was because of your incorrect beliefs about your self-worth (your memes), you are raising awareness and changing the current habitual thinking in your mind.
Every time you consciously upgrade just one little belief that is in conflict with reality, you are one step closer to changing your habitual thinking.
Every time you re-align yourself with your bigger picture aims about what you want, you are working towards changing your current mindset.
Every time you take a step towards your goal by researching or doing something towards your goal (action) you are one step closer to the life you want to lead.
Everything you do is a valuable contribution to your life and is the pathway to the life you want to lead.
Not doing what you want and realising that it’s not what you want, is every bit as much progress as doing what you want. How do you know what to do until you have acknowledged and learnt what NOT to do?
Along this journey to changing your life and becoming the happy mum and person you want to be, you will stuff up, you will make mistakes, you will fall back into the trap of thinking in the same habitual way that caused your stress, depression and anxiety in the first place. But every time you get back up and re-align that thinking and action back onto the Mind TRACK to happiness process you are making progress.
Over time you will find that you will have to apply this process less and less consciously. You will catch yourself automatically upgrading your thinking to the reality thinking model. You will find yourself automatically thinking about what you want and taking action steps towards it. You will find that your new tape has started to play and will run ever so subtley in the background whenever you are going through your ‘moments’.
You will find that life will no longer suck you into long term weeks and months of despair, but arrive and disappear fleetingly once you remember to apply the process again.
When you continue to have defined goals to work towards and use the reality thinking model to keep a rational and realistic perspective on the ups and downs you encounter on your way to your goals, you will find yourself feeling more empowered, happier, calmer and freer than you ever had before.
This is happiness.
You have now graduated from this program. You have completed learning the process of how to stop stress, depression and anxiety, not just in the context of motherhood, but in life too.
However, your journey has not ended. It has only just begun. As always your progress starts and ends with you. You have done extremely well to get to this part of the program where you have perservered through three months of learning and resourcing information to change.
Now you must continue to implement step five of the TRACK process – action. YOU are the only one who can change the way you feel about your life and you now have the knowledge and tools to do this.
For the next two weeks, you will still have access to this program and the Q&A Forum so that you can catch up on any missed weeks, do exercises that you didn’t do and ask any questions that may be lingering before you are sent on your own.
You will also have an opportunity (via email you will receive soon) to keep using this program as ongoing support for just $29.95 per month, or buy liftetime access to the information and support for just $59.
So to end this program, I have some final words for you to take with you:
YOU are an amazing human being right now. Nothing you can do or say will ever change that. No mistakes, behaviour or events could ever take away how important you are to everyone you come across, right now! Your children will learn what they need to learn off you and you will always be the best mother that you can be with the information that you have.
Keep pushing yourself, working on yourself, improving your knowledge, strengthening your desired abilities and staying focussed on the life that you want, all while keeping that solid understanding about your value.
Your life has done depression for long enough now. It is time to set that bird free and move on. Live, love, cry, laugh, experience and enjoy, because no matter how your life unfolds:
YOU ARE ALWAYS ENOUGH!