NB – There is no audio available for this lesson
Are you ready to change your life? Are you ready to commit to experiencing all of the things that you would like to experience in your life? Because if you are, you are in the right place at the right time, because today is the first day of the rest of your life. Let’s begin creating all the aims for you as a parent, what you want for your life and the person that you’d like to be.
Not sure? Are you having second thoughts, or having meme’s popping up in your head as discussed yesterday? Don’t worry, I am going to teach you how to overcome these by creating your own affirmations. But first we need to pull together the week’s learning and create a list of aims for you to work towards that will be taken from the work you’ve done on day two, three, four and five of this week.
Step One: What are you aiming for?
- Take a blank sheet of paper (an A3 size would be good) that you can use to write your aims on
- Open your notebook to the page where you looked at the potential solutions/aims to your situation/problem.
- On your blank sheet of paper write the heading: ‘Aims for my current situation/problem’ (or you can use the sample sheets that I have created below)
- Underneath this heading create two columns – Column A will read ‘My present Issue’ and column B will read ‘my aim to overcome this issue’
- Write down your issue and your aim accordingly.
- Underneath this create a new heading: ‘Aims for being a parent:’
- Under this heading, list all of your aims for being a parent.
- Create a new heading: ‘Aims for my life’
- Under this heading, create a sub-heading: ‘My General aims’
- Create another subheading: ‘Aims I’d like to experience before I die’ (you want to keep this whole exercise on one page, so if you have lots of aims in this list, then you may want to write them all on a separate piece of paper and just write your top 10-15 aims on this particular list.
- Finally, create the heading: ‘My aims for my self-worth (the person I aspire to be)’
- Under this heading list all of your aims for this category.
- Make sure you leave room at the bottom to write your affirmations that we are going to create in the next step.
Please feel free to print out the samples that I have created for you below, or if you are feeling creative make your own – it’s your life!! I have done versions in both A3 & A4, as I know that some of you won’t be able to print onto A3 paper.
Step Two – Creating your Affirmations
- Now that you have listed your aims on your sheet, take some time to go through these aim and take notice of any little comments, or voices that occur in your mind that are thinking that these aims cannot be achieved. You are looking for the types of memes that frequently occur within you that often stop you from achieving your aims.
- On a separate piece of paper (perhaps in your workbook), write down these little statements as they enter into your mind as you contemplate achieving each aim.
- From this list, re-order these statements into the top 10 statements that stop you from achieving your goals (eg, ‘I don’t deserve to be happy’, ‘I can’t’ etc)
- From this list you are now going to use the instructions below to create 10 affirmations that are going to change this negative self-talk and teach your brain to view your aims differently.
How to create affirmations:
a) Write a statement that is the opposite to your current negative self-talk
b) Make sure that new statement is about what you do want.
c) Don’t use negative words in your new statement (such as don’t, won’t etc)
d) Keep your statement in present tense (eg I have confidence or I am a confident person, instead of I will be confident). Putting your statements in future tense keeps your brain thinking that it will happen someday. You want to train your brain to believe you have this now, which is why it is important to keep these statements in present tense.
e) Keep your statements short and brief because when you come to reciting them in the next step, you need to have your attention focussed. If they are too complex you won’t remember them.
Here are some examples of old limiting memes and affirmations you could create from them.
i) I am too stupid to learn anything———–this statement may become————-I have the ability to learn new skills
ii) I’m not good enough————-this statement may become———–I deserve to have anything I desire.
iii) My kids deserve a different mother————this statement may become———-I am the best mother for my children and give them everything they need to grow into healthy, happy adults.
iv) I don’t deserve to have money——————this statement may become———Money is everywhere. I have every right to have as much money as I desire in my life
v) You’re too angry to be calm———-this statement may become—— I am calm, loving and compassionate towards myself and others
If you have any problems with creating your affirmations, don’t forget to head on over to the Q&A Forum so that you can get some help.
Step Three – Practicing your Affirmations using your mirror
The final step to this exercise is to practice reciting your affirmations on a daily basis. This doesn’t have to be a lengthy process. It only has to be 10 minutes a day and for an extra bonus, recite them whenever you remember to as well. But at least recite them once a day using the Mirror Method I spoke about yesterday. Below are these instructions again:
Using the Mirror method
a) Look at yourself dead in the eye and recite your affirmation
b) At first you will probably disagree with what you are saying, but stick with it.
c) Keep a strong focus right into your eyes (the windows to your soul), even get up real close to the mirror if you need to, and repeat the affirmation again with as much conviction as you can muster.
d) Take notice of the feelings, images and comments you make and accept them with interest, then repeat the statement again, pausing each time to focus on how you feel.
d) Repeat this affirmation 5-10 times until you feel a slight shift in your level of belief in this new statement.
e) Repeat steps a-d with each of your ten affirmations
The effect of this mirror method is extraordinary. By looking at yourself right in the eyes, you send a very powerful message to yourself and to your brain. It might seem strange to read this on paper, but if you actually do it you will know what I’m talking about.
Remember, what you are trying to do, not just with these affirmations, but with this entire Mind TRACK to Happiness process, is to re-program your mind to change your habitual thinking. Anything that accelerates that process is a major bonus as it also accelerates how great you will feel (because when you change your thoughts, you change your feelings).
Mirror affirmations are so powerful in accelerating the process of training your brain to overcome those strong, overwhelming memes that stop you from getting everything that you achieve in your life.
A final word on setting aims
The process you have gone through this week has set your goals, FOR NOW. While most of your parent, life and self-worth aims will probably stay the same throughout your life, it is important to regularly check in with your aims to see if you need to change them, or set new ones.
As you know, you continue to have new experiences everyday and with that comes new challenges and new information that propels us to another level of life and experience. In life we set goals, achieve some, don’t achieve others, change goals and all the while, set life in motion.
What do you do when you get the goal? You find more goals to set. This is what keeps life exciting, interesting and continues to push us to learn more in life. Keep using this TRACK process to identify what you want in your life from where you are at right now (reality) and continue to test these aims against reality and your bigger picture aims.
In next week’s lessons I’m going to teach you the ‘how to’ part of achieving these aims.